Friday, June 05, 2009

What makes me happy?

What makes me happy?

Simple question. It's a question that I often ask myself. Especially when things aren't going well.

Today is one of those days.

I really can't explain why I'm in a bad mood; I'm just in that state of being. Nothing was said, no one stepped to me the wrong way, I'm not sick, I'm not hurt, I didn't have an argument with anyone. . . today is just one of those days.

I realize it doesn't take much to make me happy. It never has. That I know for sure. I'm not a materalistic person, never have been. I don't own a large home, drive an expensive car nor have a lot of overpriced knick knacks in my space.

It doesn't take much to make me happy. If I sat down and compiled a list, it wouldn't be extensive because I'm a very simplistic person, that works for me. Helps me to get past all the superficial so that I can realize my divine destiny.

My children (Brandon and Briana) make me happy because I can clearly see the wonderful adults they are growing into and knowing I had a hand in that, wow, that brings me joy. I know without a doubt that they are confident, intelligent, compassionate young adults who will grow up and be productive citizens of the world who will make a difference, no matter how big or small. They are my legacy.

Love makes me happy, basking in it makes me glow. Having someone in my life (my hubby) who supports me, encourages me, lifts me up when I'm down, laughs and cries with me, provides a shoulder for me to lean on. . . that is happiness. Being in love brings me a sense of protection, security and clarity. The act of love, knowing I can bond with someone on such a spiritual, emotional and physical level. . . that brings happiness.

My immediate family is a great source of happiness. We have history. Who else can say, "I knew you when you were knee high to a cricket?" Who else can still call me my childhood nickname? "Hey, Sweetpea!" They love me unconditionally like no one else ever will. I can always go home with no regrets. They love me just for me, take me like I am. Family keeps me on point and focused. That makes me truly happy.

My friends, my genuine, real friends make me happy because they know me, point blank. They know my moods; know when to step back and leave me alone and know when to offer a tissue for a good cry or laugh until our stomachs ache with laughter.They make me happy because we've created many happy times together. That's magical.

Being real; keeping it real. . . that makes me happy. I don't have a fake bone in my body. If I like you, then I like you. If I don't, there is no pretense and life goes on. I can spot a faker a mile away. WARNING: I DON'T NEED FAKE ASS PEOPLE IN MY LIFE. I don't need to cut down others in order to make myself appear larger than life. I don't desire to be the loudest to be heard or seen. My actions and quiet reserve will rise to the top eventually. Realness always shines through. I don't have to brag about my degrees or use big words to prove how intelligent I am. I know and I shouldn't have to prove it.

Beauty is happiness. A sunrise, a red, fragrant rose, a child's smile, the setting sun over the peak of a mountaintop, the stillness of a first snow, great works of art, a beautiful song, a sexy man---all make me happy.

Writing is my happiness. Happiness comes in the form of having the ability to bear my soul through the stroke of a pen or the keys on a keyboard. No one can take that away. When I write, my soul speaks loud and clear. . . no stuttering. Writing heals all my ills. . .

Quitness is the starting point for happiness. Just being still and listening to my spirit brings me a sense of well being. When I'm overstimulated, I react in a negative manner. I don't need a crowd of people in my life. I'll take a few genuine, wonderful friends over quantity any day.

One of my favorite movie quotes is: "I would rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."

Being compassionate to others makes me happy. Being compassionate is the center of our true being. Life is so precious and short and I've experienced many deaths during my lifetime, so I speak from experience. People can be so nasty and evil to one another. Everybody vying for some imaginary spot on the top of the totem pole. In the end, it doesn't even matter.

Emotions, feeling something on a deep level, connecting with someone makes me happy because it proves I'm alive. Once you stop feeling, then you are already dead.

Quote from Steel Magnolias: I find it amusing. Men are suppose to be made out of steel or something. I just sat there. I just held Shelby's hand. There was no noise, no tremble, just peace. Oh god. I realize as a woman how lucky I am. I was there when that wonderful creature drifted into my life and I was there when she drifted out. It was the most precious moment of my life.

As I write this, I realize each and every day is a powerful journey in which I'm reaching for my happiness with open, outstretched, eager arms. . .

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