Send your essay (Aha Moment) for inclusion in non-fiction book by Electa Rome Parks!!

My road traveled to becoming a mature, wiser woman has been an amazing journey consisting of glorious up and devastating downs, and everything in between, which still continues to this day. Life really is a journey, not a destination.


I firmly believe it takes a village to raise a child. Wouldn’t it have been great if when you were a child, someone had shared their life lessons with you? Gave you a blueprint so to speak? Made your journey through this maze called life a bit easier?

Well, that’s what I would like to compile, a sharing of life lessons in non-fiction form for our young women. I intend to interview at least 100 women, age 21 and older, who are willing to share for publication, an “AHA moment” in life.

If interested in being interviewed, via an essay submission, please contact me at novelideal@aol.com for further details, submission guidelines and consideration. Please place “AHA MOMENT” in the subject line.

Let’s make a difference!

Peace & Blessings,

Electa

You Are What You Say You Are

“It doesn’t matter what people call you, it only matters what you answer to.” – Madea

The above quote by actor, writer, producer, director, screenwriter Tyler Perry is powerful. And Tyler Perry is a prime example of what he believes. He has lived and walked the talk and is one of my heroes because of his amazing triumph over personal childhood setbacks and tragedies. He never gave up and always had dreams of being successful regardless of what everyone else said or believed about him otherwise. And through that belief, he has transformed into the powerhouse he is today.

If there is one life lesson I could teach young people, even some adults, it would be about the concept of mind over matter. We really are what we say we are. The universe really is a remarkable entity because what we place out there really does come back to us with a vengeance. Law of Attraction. I’ve witnessed it in my life and experienced its effects.

Make no mistake about it, there is power in our words and thoughts. The Bible speaks of it. I discovered that power early on in my life. In fact, that’s why I fell in love with words---because of their beauty, splendor and the ability to change lives. That's why I have a passionate love affair with reading and writing to this day. So why not make your words and thoughts uplifting, empowering and encouraging?

I’ve always believed in claiming what’s rightfully mine. Say it out loud. Literally speak it into existence. That sets the cycle in motion so to speak. Write it down. Post it on the bathroom mirror. Chant it over and over in your mind. You’ll be surprised at the people, places, situations and events that are placed in your life designed to fulfill your destiny. That’s the nature of the universe. Making sure you are at the right place at the right time.

So, the question is: what are you? Say it. Claim it.

Become Yourself

“Ordinary, brown braided woman with big legs and full lips, become yourself.”

Wow! The first time I heard Phylicia Rashad’s character speak those words with her gravely, powerful voice that demands attention, speaking straight, no chaser, from her soul. . . from a place of knowing, from a spiritual realm in the For Colored Girls trailer. . . I literally experienced chills up and down my spine as if they were saying, pay attention. This is a lesson in life. I was speechless, mesmerized and empowered to action. Two little words.

Become yourself.

I have been trying to accomplish that task my entire life. You hear me, my whole life. That has become my subconscious quest and divine mission. Only in recent years has it become my mantra, repeating it over, again and again in my head. I embrace it with a depth and passion as my own.

I desire to be the best mother, wife, sister, daughter, aunt, friend. . . person. . . that I can be. I owe it to myself and I owe it to those around me, the ones I touch with my spirit on my path to discovery and wisdom.

Become yourself.

Something supernatural screams directly to my soul, with a mind of its own, challenging me to make a difference. A positive difference. Life is too precious to live and pass through in the blink of any eye, and nothing has changed. That is simply not acceptable. You were simply a blink when you should have been a bang. The world should be a better place simply because you were here.

Words, especially robust, passionate ones spoken from a place of wisdom, a place of knowing. . . words that speak to strength and coming into one’s rightful self. . . they wrap me cocoon-like in colorful, vibrant silks as they caress my mental palette and stroke my very soul with the possibilities. Something primal, from generations after generations gone by, remembers who I am suppose to be. And I embrace it because I recognize its power.

Become yourself.

I want to embrace my essence, live up to my fullest potential and beyond. Each year of my life, I’m changing, growing, and evolving. That’s a good thing. I’ve come to realize there is power in my words. They touch people. They make people feel. My words incite emotion. A higher power has lovingly bestowed that gift upon me and I gladly accept it and all the responsibilities that go with it. Find yourself so that you can become.

Become yourself.

What a beautiful world we would live in if we all did as much. We could create a world of miracles and harmony. A utopia. Yes, such simple words, but oh, how powerful upon closer examination, scrutiny and understanding.

I have a glorious destiny to live out, so do you. Become the beautiful spirit you were meant to be. . . you don’t have to be extraordinary, you can be ordinary, brown-braided. . . simply look within.

Become yourself.

Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday dear, Electa!

It's my birthday, it's my birthday! Go Electa! Go Electa!

As a new celebration of my birth looms on the horizon, March 2nd, I feel so geninuely blessed and can't help but do a bit of reflecting on my amazing journey thus far.

There are a few things I've learned, well actually I've learned quite a lot, but for purposes of this blog I'll only share a few. A couple of things I've learned during my uh, coughing and clearing my throat, ??? years on earth are:

1. Life is short and precious. Don't take it for granted. Make a difference. Be a difference.

2. Age is simply a number.

As I've grown older, I have come to realize that there are two types of people I've crossed paths with during my lifetime. There are those who realize life is short and precious. They have elevated their state of existence in some manner. They are at peace with themselves and have discovered a purpose. At the end of the day, they realize it's not what you say but what you do to make a difference in the lives of others.

These are people who have let go of the baggage and discarded the clutter of life. They realize when they look in mirror, only they are required to love themselves back. And it's all good. They aren't looking for confirmation or validation from anyone. They are way pass that stage. It doesn't matter what your parents said, did or didn't do. It doesn't matter what material things you do or do not have. It doesn't matter how much money is in your bank account---it simply doesn't matter. When it is all said and done, you have to find peace within yourself---only then will the joy come. And joy really does come in the morning!

Going back to purpose, type #1 has discovered it is a responsibility as human beings to give back to others. Yes, it is our responsibility to mentor to young girls who have lost their way or simply don't know any better! Yes, it is our responsibility to teach boys how to become men! Yes, it is our responsibility to instill a moral compass within our children and to be a source of inspiration and guidance! Yes, we should be our brother's and sister's keeper because I've learned that it really does take a village to raise a child!

Our gifts were bestowed upon us for a divine purpose. It wasn't an accident. There aren't any accidents; everything happens for a reason. How are we and who are we to walk away and not accept the responsibility and not use it to uplift, inspire and embrace. That's the secret to a peaceful, happy life: Give back to others, find peace within yourself and use your gifts to inspire others to reach higher and be a beacon of light. Some of us are so lost we need a light to reflect our path.

The second group, even with age, haven't awakened and realized that age is just a number. It's all mental baby! I finally understand what the "old people" from back in the day meant when they stated they still felt like a young girl or a young man at heart. You really are as young as you feel. . . or as old as you feel.

The youthful appearance may fade, the muscles and joints may ache, the wrinkles and gray hair may appear,  and the suppleness may leave in some places, but that still doesn't undermine the fact that we should continue to live life to the fullest because we only get one and personally, there is too much I want to see and experience before it is said and done. I want to experience much that falls between the hypen that will be on my tombstone.

Every day is an adventure to me.  I have an adventurous spirit that will probably be with me to the day I die. I'll be the old woman sky diving from a plane. . . well, maybe that wasn't a good example since I'm afraid of heights. LOL. I thrive on discovery, seeing new and exciting places and things. I enjoy meeting new and interesting people that expose me to new ideas, cultures and concepts. I love to be taught and challenged and shocked and loved and pampered and spoiled. . . Embrace life with a passion and it will love you back ten-fold.

So on March 2nd, I will not look at it as another day older but as another opportunity to experience all the beauty and splendor that life has to offer.

To Believe or Not to Believe

Okay. For those of you who know me, I mean really know me, well . . . you recognize that I tend to believe in or should I say, am open to, a lot of unconventional ideas.

Don't laugh. But. . . I believe in reincarnation. I recall years ago, an actress, her name escapes me now, stated she had lived several previous lives and the media had a field day making a mockery of her and her belief. However, I never once thought it was ludacris.

Back in college, I wrote an essay, in my Death and Dying class (which met at 8:00 a.m. during winter quarter) on why I could believe in reincarnation. I can't exactly recall all my major points, but I was open enough to acknowledge it could possibly exist.

1. We know, we as human beings, are on earth to learn life lessons through our experiences, whatever they may emcompass, be it joy, sadness, death, injury, illness, love, pain, kindness, etc. We learn, grow and develop as spiritual beings as we absorb life and elevate ourselves to be more Christ-like through our experiences.

Why wouldn't some of us have to live several lifetimes to gain enough experience to accelerate to the next spiritual level. I've been told that I've been here at least three other lifetimes. I know this sounds like a Twightlight Moment but I'm relaying what I've been told.

2. How do you explain deja vu when it happens to you? We have all experienced it at some point or another, where you have to stop and think. . . "I've seen this before, or been here before or felt this way before with this person." I recall having that experience my first time visiting Jamaica. As the plane flew over the Blue Mountains, I glanced out the window and experienced an immediate familarity. As the plane circled around in preparation for landing, I felt a sudden and unexpected peacefulness descend upon my spirit. I felt like I was coming home after being gone for a long, long time. There was excitement and happiness. . . and a joy to be back where I belonged, to my roots.

During my stay in Jamaica, I experienced even more deja vu. I sensed I had been there before, however, I knew I hadn't. The land, people, the culture, music, food, all felt familiar and safe and like family. I've never experienced that before or since in my travels.

I even found myself getting up early (believe me when I say, I never, ever do that) to have time by myself to simply sit by the pool and enjoy the dawn of a new morning. I stayed seven days and when it was time to return home, I experienced a true sadness that surprised me with its boldness. I boarded the plane for the U.S. with a new sense of relaxation and peacefulness, within. Much like when you go home, when you haven't visited in awhile, and you get pampered, spoiled, fed and rejuvenated.

3. How many of you have ever met someone, male or female, for the first time but felt as if you've known them your entire life.

I have.

The feelings are so intense because there is such a strong immediate bond, much like being reunited with a long, lost relative or spouse or other loved one. Your spirit/soul senses you've been together before, in perhaps another lifetime as sister, brother, lover, husband, friend, mother, daughter. The spirit recognizes what we can't logically understand. Until that first meeting, you never realized you missed them so intensely. There is such a longing to be around that person, in their presence, because you feel like you can't lose them again. You feel a deep sense of completeness when you are around them.

I don't know if reincarnation exists or not. . . I considered doing a past life regression hypnosis a couple of years ago but the person I wanted to facilitate it never toured in Atlanta. That is still on my list of "things to do."

Who knows? Life is mysterious and no one has all the answers or knows all its secrets. However, I've always maintained an open mind to the possibilities.

Swimming in Opposite Directions

I am a Pisces. I have always been interested in astrology since I was a little girl and I read my first horoscope. Seems like my life has been a continuous quest to discover the "real" true essence of me. Electa Bridgett Rome Parks. Pisces is the symbol of fish swimming in two opposite, distinct directions.

It is still amazing that that categorizes me in a nutshell because I realize I can be such a contradiction to most. For instance, even though I have always been quiet and laid back; I'm also very opioninated and vocal (whether verbally or written) when I am passionate about a topic or subject.

I embrace everything steeped in tradition; in fact, sometimes I think I should have been born in another century and time. On the other hand, I'm not conservative at many levels. I'm always open to other ideas, beliefs, customs, thoughts and anything considered outside the box. I probably believe in "stuff" that some people would deem crazy. Again, I'm forever on a quest to fit all the pieces of the puzzle together. . . to figure out the great mystery of life.

I am most definitely a true, hopeless romantic; I admit it. You see, I'm a prissy, girly girl (woman) and I adore sappy, romantic movies. . . I have even been known to shed a few tears while watching them. The entire idea of a black knight in shining armour riding in to whisk me away is intriguing and exciting. Visualize the final scene of An Officer and a Gentlemen and Urban Cowboy. I'm not going to lie; I love, love, love those movies and have watched them countless times, with the same reaction. The concept of a soul mate, that one person made just for you, who completes and complements your life, man, that just takes my breath away. Blows me away. Yet, with all that said, I don't believe in happily ever after endings. I'm too much of a realist and I accept that no one is perfect. And. . . with imperfections comes grief and disappointments.

Contradictions are present everywhere in my life and have also been evident during my literary career. The genres I write under are classified as contemporary fiction and erotica. My novels are known for having elements of drama, volatile relationships, a topical issue and most of all, raciness.

From the outside looking in, my novels are everything that I am not (on some levels). And. . . that's the great beauty of being a writer. . . having the ability to create and structure characters the way I see fit. From day one, my novels have always carried my name, not a pen name. Electa Rome Parks is my real name, not a pen name as some readers have thought. I'm very proud of my creations, my babies, and have never felt the need to hide behind a false name. Side note: I do realize there are other reasons authors use pen names to conceal their identities.

Yet, from family and friends who know me well, at one point or another the inevitable question has been raised. Why do you write such spicy novels? Why don't you write inspiration or Christian fiction or literary? My answer remains the same: "Because I don't want to. Contemporary fiction and erotica speaks to me. I can deliver my messages and be just as effective this way."


No, my novels aren't literary masterpieces that can be broken down and dissected by the best literary reviewers of our times. I write for entertainment purposes and the desire that the reader takes away my underlying life lessons in the process. I adore writing about imperfect people living their imperfect lives in an imperfect world. No. Most of my novels don't have a happily ever after ending because life isn't that sweet, and cozy and tidy. Mishaps, dysfunctional relationships and sexual gratification is a part of all our lives. . . it's human nature.

Who knows? I learned long ago to never say never. Never say what you will never do or do. You never know where life will take you. Down the line, one day, I hope to write an inspirational novel because I think I have many life lessons to share. I think I'm what one would classify as an old soul and I connect with people because they sense a level of sincerity and realness in my demeanor.

In the meantime, I'm simply happy that my novels are touching lives, connecting with my readers based on the many emails, letters (yes, letters) and feedback I receive at signings. Puts a big smile on my face every time. My readers can relate to my imperfect characters doing what imperfect people do, including having sex (LOL) and that makes it all worthwhile.

Another Life Lesson

Another thing I've discovered about the beauty of life is that it doesn't matter how many years may come and go, there are always new life lessons to learn. Isn't that amazing? We are never too old to learn.

Lesson learned: Friends will disappoint you, but if the friendship is worth salvaging, then you will work through it.

I've determined one of my personality traits in dealing with people is that sometimes I tend to place them on a much higher pedestal than they deserve to be. When they disappoint me in one way or another, which they almost always do, the effect is much greater because I thought so highly of them to begin with.

Now,I understand that it is unfair of me in a lot of ways because no one is perfect and no once could ever live up to my high expectations, not even myself, if I were my friend.

When you really break it down, life is a series of people who come and go throughout your lifetime. You have to determine the ones worth keeping, the ones worth fighting for and the ones who have completed their journey with you.

As I've made my journey through life, I've had the opportunity to meet and befriend many wonderful people. Some have been with me for only a reason, others a season, but the life lessons they have passed on will last a lifetime and I am forever grateful.

What makes me happy?

What makes me happy?

Simple question. It's a question that I often ask myself. Especially when things aren't going well.

Today is one of those days.

I really can't explain why I'm in a bad mood; I'm just in that state of being. Nothing was said, no one stepped to me the wrong way, I'm not sick, I'm not hurt, I didn't have an argument with anyone. . . today is just one of those days.

I realize it doesn't take much to make me happy. It never has. That I know for sure. I'm not a materalistic person, never have been. I don't own a large home, drive an expensive car nor have a lot of overpriced knick knacks in my space.

It doesn't take much to make me happy. If I sat down and compiled a list, it wouldn't be extensive because I'm a very simplistic person, that works for me. Helps me to get past all the superficial so that I can realize my divine destiny.

My children (Brandon and Briana) make me happy because I can clearly see the wonderful adults they are growing into and knowing I had a hand in that, wow, that brings me joy. I know without a doubt that they are confident, intelligent, compassionate young adults who will grow up and be productive citizens of the world who will make a difference, no matter how big or small. They are my legacy.

Love makes me happy, basking in it makes me glow. Having someone in my life (my hubby) who supports me, encourages me, lifts me up when I'm down, laughs and cries with me, provides a shoulder for me to lean on. . . that is happiness. Being in love brings me a sense of protection, security and clarity. The act of love, knowing I can bond with someone on such a spiritual, emotional and physical level. . . that brings happiness.

My immediate family is a great source of happiness. We have history. Who else can say, "I knew you when you were knee high to a cricket?" Who else can still call me my childhood nickname? "Hey, Sweetpea!" They love me unconditionally like no one else ever will. I can always go home with no regrets. They love me just for me, take me like I am. Family keeps me on point and focused. That makes me truly happy.

My friends, my genuine, real friends make me happy because they know me, point blank. They know my moods; know when to step back and leave me alone and know when to offer a tissue for a good cry or laugh until our stomachs ache with laughter.They make me happy because we've created many happy times together. That's magical.

Being real; keeping it real. . . that makes me happy. I don't have a fake bone in my body. If I like you, then I like you. If I don't, there is no pretense and life goes on. I can spot a faker a mile away. WARNING: I DON'T NEED FAKE ASS PEOPLE IN MY LIFE. I don't need to cut down others in order to make myself appear larger than life. I don't desire to be the loudest to be heard or seen. My actions and quiet reserve will rise to the top eventually. Realness always shines through. I don't have to brag about my degrees or use big words to prove how intelligent I am. I know and I shouldn't have to prove it.

Beauty is happiness. A sunrise, a red, fragrant rose, a child's smile, the setting sun over the peak of a mountaintop, the stillness of a first snow, great works of art, a beautiful song, a sexy man---all make me happy.

Writing is my happiness. Happiness comes in the form of having the ability to bear my soul through the stroke of a pen or the keys on a keyboard. No one can take that away. When I write, my soul speaks loud and clear. . . no stuttering. Writing heals all my ills. . .

Quitness is the starting point for happiness. Just being still and listening to my spirit brings me a sense of well being. When I'm overstimulated, I react in a negative manner. I don't need a crowd of people in my life. I'll take a few genuine, wonderful friends over quantity any day.

One of my favorite movie quotes is: "I would rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."

Being compassionate to others makes me happy. Being compassionate is the center of our true being. Life is so precious and short and I've experienced many deaths during my lifetime, so I speak from experience. People can be so nasty and evil to one another. Everybody vying for some imaginary spot on the top of the totem pole. In the end, it doesn't even matter.

Emotions, feeling something on a deep level, connecting with someone makes me happy because it proves I'm alive. Once you stop feeling, then you are already dead.

Quote from Steel Magnolias: I find it amusing. Men are suppose to be made out of steel or something. I just sat there. I just held Shelby's hand. There was no noise, no tremble, just peace. Oh god. I realize as a woman how lucky I am. I was there when that wonderful creature drifted into my life and I was there when she drifted out. It was the most precious moment of my life.

As I write this, I realize each and every day is a powerful journey in which I'm reaching for my happiness with open, outstretched, eager arms. . .