Friday, June 05, 2009

Ramblings on a Wednesday Night

For as long as I can remember, I've always loved the beginning of a new year. I think there is something magical about a fresh, new start. Maybe I am strange in that way, but a new year gives me unlimited, renewed hope. Hope for new beginnings, new starts, a time to wipe the slate clean and start over. And that's how I try to start each new year. No regrets, no looking back. I embrace the future...

2009 is chocked full of possibilities for me. Shortly this country will have a black president in the White House and I couldn’t be prouder. That alone gives me hope. . . hope for the future, hope for my children, hope for this country. I never thought I'd live to see this day, not in my lifetime. When President-elect Obama shouts, 'Yes, we can,' I believe him with everything in my being. I still possess the childlike quality of believing that if I wish for it, ask for it, and believe it will happen, then guess what, it will. There is so much power in positive thinking...

As 2008 came to an end, I realized that even though I may not be exactly where I want to be, I also realize as long as there is hope in my heart and passion in my soul, then I'll get there with hard work and by the grace of God...

Each new year brings 12 months (from the previous year) of additional wisdom to my lifetime of experience. I'm an old soul and I know life is full of disappointments, delays, frustrations and pain. . . that is all part of the lessons we must learn. I pray that I use my wisdom wisely. But life is also about great triumphs, life-changing events, realizations, and meeting people who bring joy, peace and excitement into your life right when you need it. There are no accidents in life; everything happens for a reason, including the people who are placed in it. I've finally come to an understanding that life is about serving others by using our God-given talents in a positive manner.

I'm constantly learning about the person I see when I look in the mirror. And I can truly say I like the person I am, the person I see. Yeah, I'm moody. One minute I can be smiling, happy and on top of the world and the next, I feel like I've lost my best friend. Yes, I'm a perfectionist. I know, I can be selfish. Sometimes, well a lot of times, it is all about me, me, me. Okay, I'm impatient. Whatever I want, I wanted it yesterday...

But on the other hand, I am loyal. I can be the best friend you ever have, if you prove to me that you are a true friend. I'm dependable, reliable and I have an honest, caring heart. I love hard because I have so much love to give. I'm emotional to a fault (I wear my feelings on my sleeve) and I'm a true romantic, believing in soul mates and past lives. I have a weird sense of humor. But take me or leave me, that's me. That's who I am...

One thing I've learned about myself lately is that I truly am a writer. A storyteller. Well, I really already knew that, it wasn't an earth shattering realization, but I tried to be hardheaded and not listen to what my spirit was saying. And your spirit doesn't lie. Just be quiet and still, and really listen. Regardless of setbacks, a changing literary industry, and just flat out hard times, I can't run too long or too far from the power and beauty of words. They embrace me and comfort me like no other. We are having a true, torrid love affair. I absolutely adore writing; I love being in the zone, I love creating, I love playing God by creating characters that are born of my imagination and mind. I crave the beauty of words. The absolute, sheer power of words. . . how they can change lives...

Writing is my outlet. My joy and sometimes my pain. T he one thing I can depend on. So, 2009, I promise myself, here and now, I will be true to my spirit...

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