Dream Deferred

Sometimes, I sit and frantically listen
Listen to my internal, silent screammm
build, building, building
to maximum decimals
that longs to burst, stumble forth
to be set free

Disappointment, yes
Despair, maybe
Defeat, never

Can you hear it too?
Listen closely
The urgent wailings
tortured groans,
moans
Listen carefully
to my internal, silent scream that screeches and scratches
so loudly that I'm completely numb inside

Numb from dreaming, scheming and screaming
while grasping, clawing for the stars
and beyond
Numb from an internal longing,
a desire so strong
so deep
so organic
so real
so true

To be heard
to have a strong, vibrant voice
not just any voice that blends in with all the rest
to make a big difference in a small way
to be a legend, innovator
to leave a legacy
to be immortal

Sometimes, I sit and silently cringe
Cringe at the invisible ache and puppet strings
that stir and pull my soul
from a deep, guttural place within
This way and that
Bursting free
No rest
No peace

Unable to live and foster my dream
Unacceptable
External forces beyond my control
dream dashers
powers that be
no respect, saturation
diminishing my passion

Inside, my spirit dies piece by piece
like rotting meat
bit by bit
little by little
Each and every day

From the words of Langston Hughes
What happens to a dream deferred?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load

Or does it explode?

Another Life Lesson

Another thing I've discovered about the beauty of life is that it doesn't matter how many years may come and go, there are always new life lessons to learn. Isn't that amazing? We are never too old to learn.

Lesson learned: Friends will disappoint you, but if the friendship is worth salvaging, then you will work through it.

I've determined one of my personality traits in dealing with people is that sometimes I tend to place them on a much higher pedestal than they deserve to be. When they disappoint me in one way or another, which they almost always do, the effect is much greater because I thought so highly of them to begin with.

Now,I understand that it is unfair of me in a lot of ways because no one is perfect and no once could ever live up to my high expectations, not even myself, if I were my friend.

When you really break it down, life is a series of people who come and go throughout your lifetime. You have to determine the ones worth keeping, the ones worth fighting for and the ones who have completed their journey with you.

As I've made my journey through life, I've had the opportunity to meet and befriend many wonderful people. Some have been with me for only a reason, others a season, but the life lessons they have passed on will last a lifetime and I am forever grateful.