Friday, December 18, 2009

Have You Ever?

Have You Ever?

Craving: an intense desire for some particular thing or person; a yearning

Have you ever craved someone so badly that you can’t think straight, you’re intoxicated with desire?

Have you ever craved someone so badly that all you can think about is the feel of his strong hands on your body, as they stroke, squeeze, roam to bring you pure, unadulterated pleasure?

Have you ever craved someone so badly that just the mere thought of him makes you shiver uncontrollably with lust; a soft moan escapes your throat as you cross and uncross your legs to contain the heat?

Have you ever craved someone so badly that he takes you there by his look, touch and masculine smell, his mouth on your neck, moving upward as he seductively whispers naughty words into your ear?

Have you ever craved someone so badly that you’re willing to leave all inhibitions at the door because with him you know it’ll be worth the erotic adventure your body longs for?

Have you ever craved someone so badly that when you close your eyes at night, all you can see is you and him caught up in the throes of heated passion, hotter than you have ever been?

Have you ever craved someone so badly that all you can think about is getting that next high, of being in his presence, of feeling his strokes deep inside taking you to ecstasy?

Have you ever craved someone so badly that you almost lost your mind?

I have. . .

There is one small problem. . . he doesn't crave me back. However, I intend to change all that!

Pilar, Diary of a Stalker 2009

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Tuesday, December 01, 2009

To Believe or Not to Believe

Okay. For those of you who know me, I mean really know me, well . . . you recognize that I tend to believe in or should I say, am open to, a lot of unconventional ideas.

Don't laugh. But. . . I believe in reincarnation. I recall years ago, an actress, her name escapes me now, stated she had lived several previous lives and the media had a field day making a mockery of her and her belief. However, I never once thought it was ludacris.

Back in college, I wrote an essay, in my Death and Dying class (which met at 8:00 a.m. during winter quarter) on why I could believe in reincarnation. I can't exactly recall all my major points, but I was open enough to acknowledge it could possibly exist.

1. We know, we as human beings, are on earth to learn life lessons through our experiences, whatever they may emcompass, be it joy, sadness, death, injury, illness, love, pain, kindness, etc. We learn, grow and develop as spiritual beings as we absorb life and elevate ourselves to be more Christ-like through our experiences.

Why wouldn't some of us have to live several lifetimes to gain enough experience to accelerate to the next spiritual level. I've been told that I've been here at least three other lifetimes. I know this sounds like a Twightlight Moment but I'm relaying what I've been told.

2. How do you explain deja vu when it happens to you? We have all experienced it at some point or another, where you have to stop and think. . . "I've seen this before, or been here before or felt this way before with this person." I recall having that experience my first time visiting Jamaica. As the plane flew over the Blue Mountains, I glanced out the window and experienced an immediate familarity. As the plane circled around in preparation for landing, I felt a sudden and unexpected peacefulness descend upon my spirit. I felt like I was coming home after being gone for a long, long time. There was excitement and happiness. . . and a joy to be back where I belonged, to my roots.

During my stay in Jamaica, I experienced even more deja vu. I sensed I had been there before, however, I knew I hadn't. The land, people, the culture, music, food, all felt familiar and safe and like family. I've never experienced that before or since in my travels.

I even found myself getting up early (believe me when I say, I never, ever do that) to have time by myself to simply sit by the pool and enjoy the dawn of a new morning. I stayed seven days and when it was time to return home, I experienced a true sadness that surprised me with its boldness. I boarded the plane for the U.S. with a new sense of relaxation and peacefulness, within. Much like when you go home, when you haven't visited in awhile, and you get pampered, spoiled, fed and rejuvenated.

3. How many of you have ever met someone, male or female, for the first time but felt as if you've known them your entire life.

I have.

The feelings are so intense because there is such a strong immediate bond, much like being reunited with a long, lost relative or spouse or other loved one. Your spirit/soul senses you've been together before, in perhaps another lifetime as sister, brother, lover, husband, friend, mother, daughter. The spirit recognizes what we can't logically understand. Until that first meeting, you never realized you missed them so intensely. There is such a longing to be around that person, in their presence, because you feel like you can't lose them again. You feel a deep sense of completeness when you are around them.

I don't know if reincarnation exists or not. . . I considered doing a past life regression hypnosis a couple of years ago but the person I wanted to facilitate it never toured in Atlanta. That is still on my list of "things to do."

Who knows? Life is mysterious and no one has all the answers or knows all its secrets. However, I've always maintained an open mind to the possibilities.

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