"Make Your Haters Your Motivators"

"Make your haters your motivators"

That was the tagline a local Atlanta radio personality used to deliver to her listening audience at the end of her show each and every day.

It resonated with her listeners because many of us know of or at some point in our lives have dealt with such people. Make your haters your motivators. These are words I attempt to live by.

If there is any one thing I've learned in my years of living, it's that everyone is not going to like you. That's life. It is what it is. It doesn't matter how kind, considerate and giving you may be, you will still have haters in your midst. Even Jesus Christ had his.

There are always, unto the end of time, going to be those people who strive on attempting to drag you down, destroy your spirit, belittle you with their negative words and/or actions. I admit, years ago, sometimes these people succeeded. Succeeded in making me doubt myself, second guess my dreams, making me unsure. Not any more! Those days are long gone. I am too confident in myself, who and what I am, and have too much knowledge as to where my blessings come from. I am divinely favored. No one, not even distractors, can take that from me.

With age has definitely come wisdom. I've learned during my journey as a writer, that you cannot please all the people all the time. Truer words have never been spoken. I realize not every reader will enjoy or appreciate what I've written. So be it. I know what I pen is not for everyone. I respect and accept that. I wish some readers would respect and accept that every author is different in how they choose to tell a story.

Every author can't be the reincarnation of Toni Morrison, Bebe Moore Campbell or Alice Walker. If I could write like them, I probably would, but I realize and accept the fact that I can't. God didn't give me that literary gift, but he gave me my talent nevertheless, ones just for me. And I'm constantly making efforts to grow and continually improve as a writer.

It used to floor me if I was asked why my books are so racy and weren't chocked full of positivity, but filled with much drama. I'd answer that life isn't always chocked full of positivity either. My novels reflect what is real, valid and prevalent in the AA communities, any community for that matter. My books touch upon issues of domestic abuse, molestation, addictions, dysfunctional families and the list continues to grow with each new novel. These are real, everyday issues that are encountered in many communities. Don't get me wrong, it's not everyone's story, but it belongs to some of our brothers and sisters.

Life is not always tidy, neat, clean and sparkling with happily ever after endings. I consciously make the decision for my novels to reflect the real world we live in, and hopefully, after my readers get through the drama and spiciness within, they realize there is always a lesson---a life lesson to embrace.

I haven't quite figured out why some people choose to waste energy on attempting to make others feel less than them. Maybe they harbor feelings of envy, jealousy, lack of self esteem, etc. These haters feel bad about themselves and desire to cause pain in other's lives as well, in order to reflect their own pain. I really don't know what the reasons are and I really don't care.

I can only make an effort to make my haters my motivators because I'm not wasting any of my positive energy on them. Their words ignite a fire underneath me, motivating me to reach higher. My personality, my life, my talent, my gift, my passion is what it is---take it or leave it. The choice is yours