Saturday, June 06, 2009

A Reason, Season and Lifetime

I believe - that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I believe - that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I believe - that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.


I'm a firm believer that people are placed into our lives for a reason, season or lifetime. I'm very picky about who I let into my inner circle, always have been. In fact, I can count on one hand the number of people I consider a true, genuine friend. I have many people who've earned the title of acquaintance, but only a few wear the coveted crown of dear friend. That title isn't won quite so easily. My friends have to be worthy. By worthy I mean: supportive, caring, loving, positive, genuine, real and lots and lots of fun. Bottom line, they have to have a good spirit and be good people. No fakes, backstabbers and crabs in the barrell allowed.

However, I understand that sometimes friendships are only meant to last for a reason. I've experienced such a friendship. A woman came into my life just when I needed her type of friendship---right around the time I was griefing and trying to get over the death of my mother. Pat was just who and what I needed at the time. She had a wonderful, gentle, caring and nurturing spirit and we clicked instantly, thrown together through work. Over the next few years, we became the best of friends and I can honestly say she brought a lot of joy into my life---right when I needed it. We had great conversation, shared similar views about life and laughed our asses off.

After all was said and done, we went out separate ways due to our positions being downsized. She moved out of state, I transitioned into another position. We stayed in touch for a brief period of time, but you know how that goes, it was never the same. Eventually, we lost contact. Years later, I thought about her and realized she was my reason. Pat was my reason. She was brought into my life to help me, teach me, provide wisdom, help me move past the grief. When her work was done, life moved her on. . . in a different direction. I think of her often and miss her.

On the opposite end of the spectrum are the lifelong friendships. They are in it for the long haul and I have one of those friends too. Sharron is the friend who knows me almost as well as I know myself. She is the one who was here before the hubby, before the two kids, when my dream was just that, a dream. She's been through thick and thin with me, she's seen my ups, my lows, my triumphs, my disappointments, my good moments and my bad. Sharron has known me since I was 19 years old and witnessed my many moves over the years. She knew my mother before she passed; she knows my sister. She's seen my moodiness and shrugs it off, she's the one who has supported my dream of being a writer since it first entered my thoughts. We've shared too many long conversations to count. Conversations that only good, true girlfriends can have and share during the midnight hours over a glass or two of good wine.

Sharron is the one who loves me even when she doesn't like me. She's the one who has argued with me through emails and made up, via emails, days later. She has witnessed the not so nice side of me when I get pushed into a corner. She has seen me get my heart broken, act a fool, lust over a man, feel sorry for myself, cry through my pain and laugh until my stomach aches with joy. She's watched me dance like no one is watching. Through it ALL, she's been here. She's a keeper.

Then there is the middle category. The season. These are the friends who are in our lives for a brief timeframe. They've entered our lives to teach us a life lesson, to help us see ourselves through their eyes, to grow and mature as a person, to gain some knowledge. . . and then like the fall, winter, spring and summer, when the seasons change, when the leaves fall from the trees and the buds bloom and turn to flowers, they are gone. Hopefully, with their departure we are a better person from knowing them. I've had these friends come into and exit my life throughout my lifetime as well. There have been more than enough. And I've learned from them all. I'm always grateful for what I learned, experienced and gained from them. With some, I couldn't tell you why the friendship ended. It was like it ended it's course and we parted, went our separate ways. The good memories always outlast the bad in my mind.

Life lesson: Friendships are precious gems from God. To have someone enter your life, make a difference, leave an impression and share a moment of your time here on earth, to really connect. . .that's a gift, women bonding is a wonderful, special experience. . .that's powerful

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