Confessions from a Soon-To-Be Empty Nester

"For over 2 decades my #1 pursuit was raising my children well,

and now the job is over,

and here I stand like a high-level,

high stress but low paid CEO

who's company just got bought out!"

In the not too far distant future, I will enter the realm of empty nester. And to be honest, I'm not too sure how I feel about that.

If you ask my husband, sure, he is ready to have the house to ourselves again. If you ask my acquaintances who have gone through this phase of their lives, it's wonderful. Enjoy it.

I'm still not convinced.

My son, Brandon, is a rising senior in high school and my daughter, Briana, is a rising junior in high school. So, they will leave to pursue a collegiate education in the very near future, and in back to back events. I won't have the opportunity to get use to one being gone before the other leaves.

Over the years, my children and I have had a great relationship; I can't even complain about the teenage years. I've always spent a lot of time with them and have always nurtured their interest, exposed them to new things and supported their endeavors, as most parents do. I've always tried to respect them as the individual and unique young people that they are. If I must say so myself, my children are good kids. They have good heads on their shoulders and will make intelligent decisions as they explore the next chapter of their lives as they "become" and fulfill their destiny.

So, what's the problem you ask?

To be honest, I'm not sure myself. Yes, I will miss them dearly. Yes, my buddies will be away at college, hopefully not too far, but not too close either. Yes, the house will feel empty without them, without the constant activity and chatter. Yes, they are moving on to the next phase of their lives and they will probably make some mistakes. Yes, they will become productive citizens of the world. And yes, I know they will make us proud.

I will forever cherish their early years: the first day of school, purchasing school supplies, buying the cartoon-character Valentine Day cards, picking the perfect Halloween costumes, waking up on Xmas morning, attending ballet, tap, jazz, basketball practices and games, cheering at cross country events, karate lessons, smiling as they recited Easter and Xmas speeches, attending school functions where they received awards, recited poems, and the list goes on and on and on. Great memories, great times...

I think the moving on means I have to enter the next phase of my life as well.

For so long, my identity has been one of wife, mother and author...I'll feel lost without wearing the title of hands on mom. True, I know I will always be their mom, but I must learn to function at a different level.

Change is good, right? Of course it is. The only thing that is constant is change. Now, I will have more time to spend with my husband, more time to focus on writing, more time to focus on me and me time.

A soon-to-be empty nester---that's me. That's my new title.
A title I will eventually wear with pride because I realize I have done the best I can in raising my children. My job is done.

I won't embrace it like a glove, but I'm sure in time, I will accept it. I have no choice.

For the parents who have little ones, my words of advice is to enjoy them, love them, hold them close...because the years fly by so quickly and one day you wake up and they are young men and women.

That's the beauty of life....it's forever changing and evolving, just ripe for new memories and experiences.

Enjoy Every Moment

Enjoy Every Moment

Take a moment and tell me what part of this scenario doesn't quite fit.

I was watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and crying.

Yes, crying. You read this correctly.

Most of us know for an absolute fact that an episode from any of the The Real Housewives franchise means pettiness, craziness and drama, drama, drama. An emotional moment is not usually part of the equation.

My emotional outburst and tears surprised even me.

Yes, I am an emotional person. Yes, I cry at sappy movies. Yes, I will cry from watching the evening news. But not from watching The Real Housewives.

I was watching the episode, the one right before the season finale. This is the episode where Kyle's oldest child/oldest daughter, Farrah, graduates from college. There were several touching moments that spoke from somewhere deep within and tugged at my heartstrings because I could relate at a maternal level.

I have a daughter, Briana, who's fifteen years old. She is full of life, always has a smile and a hug to offer to those around her. She keeps our family full of laughter. Saying “I love you” is a part of her every day lingo. Kisses follow. Plain and simple, Briana is a happy child. She’s a mini me.

During the celebratory lunch in honor of Farrah, with family and friends surrounding her, Kyle makes an emotionally-laced speech. My tears started to flow. At that point I realized, no matter how rich or poor, no matter what race or ethnicity, country or culture, there is a bond between mother and daughter that is powerful stuff.

With tears and a shaky voice, Kyle speaks of her love for her daughter, and there is no denying that, and how she has been blessed from the day she was born. She is so proud at the way her daughter turned out and the person she has always been. Let me repeat that. . . always been. Kyle triumphantly proclaimed she had waited for this moment for twenty-one years. In that moment, Kyle and I connected because I knew exactly what she meant and the emotions she was experiencing.

More tears flowed, from me.

And, I know that my moment is just around the corner; the moment when my daughter will go off to make her place in the world. This same daughter who told me many years ago: “I’m so happy that out of all the mommies in the world, God chose you for me. I love you Mommy!”

It’s true. Daughters are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. My daughter is only fifteen years old, but she has been the joy of my life, along with her brother, Brandon. They have taught me the true meaning of love, unconditional love, and motherhood and sacrifice and a willingness to lay down my life for another person, if need be. I can be a fierce tigress when defending my precious clubs. When they hurt, I hurt. When they are happy, I bask in their joy. Their triumphs are my victories.

I pray for them. I pray for greatness from them.

I could not picture life without them. My children make me proud every moment of my life. And because of them, I am a better person. I have enough wonderful memories of them growing up to last a lifetime. I smile in reflection. My only regret is that my mother never had the opportunity to get to know the wonderful people they are. My gifts.

Children grow up so fast. I will never forget, years ago, a complete stranger approached us in a store, maybe Sears. Brandon and Briana were smaller then and my husband and I were carrying them in our arms. He had Brandon and I had Briana. The middle-aged white male smiled and told us to always kiss them, hold them tight, and enjoy every moment because after age twelve, the years zoom by, in the blink of an eye. How true he was.

Enjoy every moment.