Thursday, June 18, 2009

Emotions Rule Everything Around Me

There are no ifs, ands or buts around it. . . I am an emotional creature. Always have been and probably will remain so until the day I die. I wear my emotions clearly sketched (or more like carved in stone) on my sleeve like a badge of honor, for the whole world to see.

I follow astrology and I'm a quirky Pisces. Pisces individuals are notorious for being overly emotional and hyper, super sensitive (that's me), so maybe that's where I get it from; it's my birthright! Translation: Emotions always rule out over logic with me. I sincerely don't know if that's a good thing or not. Depending on different scenarios, sometimes I've embraced my emotional side and other times I've cursed it and the impact it has had on my life. For example, being a published author and having a thin skin is not a good combination in this industry. I'm not going to lie. Words, actions and rejections do affect me. In the words of Erykah Badu, "I'm sensitive about my shit". However, I've gotten stronger and alot better with my reactions.

My internal mantra is: Don't tell me what you think, tell me what you feel. And believe me, I will. I will talk your ear off telling you how I feel, why I feel that way, how you made me feel and how I'd like to feel. Emotions rule everything around me. I admit it, ain't no shame to my game, I do cry over sappy movies and I've been known to sob over a sad story on the evening news involving a child (my one true weakness). I also love happy endings and happily ever after stories. They make me smile. . .and I experience joy deep within my soul.

I've chosen friendships, jobs and men based on my emotional state at any given point in time. On an emotional level is how I relate and connect to people on a daily basis. If I don't feel positive vibes emitting from you, then I'm not feeling you and will typically keep my distance. I've always had a knack for "feeling out" people and can usually tell within moments if we are compatible. It's like there is an invisible shield that protects me from negativity and ill will. (No, I'm not a super hero!) If it doesn't feel right, I usually won't do it.

I'm so entuned or channeled in with not only internal factors, but external as well. People with their constant complaining, negativity and drama bring me down. I find myself picking up on their funk and bad attitude. I pull back. On the flip side, if you make me happy and I bask in joy by being with you, then I want to be in your presence.

My emotions have even filtered over into my novels. When readers speak of the characters from my books, they always feel as if they know them. At book club meetings, they talk of them as if they are real, living and breathing people and the question always comes up: Is this novel based on a real person(s)? I always laugh, shake my head, and repeat that my books are just a product of my very vivid imagination. Then one day someone told me that that question is a great testament because I've created characters that come to life for my readers. My readers get emotional over my characters, even if it's a love/hate relationship. As someone stated, that's a good thing. It means I've connected at an emotional level to my reading audience.

Bottom line: Sometimes it can be an awesome feeling to experience life through emotional awareness.

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