Truth or Dare

Truth or Dare

Truth or Dare. Have you ever heard of this game? It's a game my friends and I used to play, back during our college days. It was simple, fun and revealing. Very revealing. Truth or Dare is played by at least two or more people. The more participants, the more fun it is.

Participants sit in a circle, preferably on the floor (with favorite alcoholic beverage in hand. LOL.) and basically go around the circle, starting left, to each person by asking a question, which has to be answered with the absolute truth. Or the player can decide not to answer the question and therefore has to take the dare.

Sounds simple? It could be. . . depending upon how open you were to revealing your truths to sometimes, complete strangers or depending on how daring you were to perform unknown stunts (which were usually embarrassing in some form or fashion).

However, that was the absolute beauty of the game. You never knew what question was going to be asked until it was your turn and if you chose dare rather than answer the question, you had no option but to perform it. At that point, there was no turning back. You chose carefully and cautiously.

Some of the random questions were:

At what age did you lose your virginity?
What's your favorite sexual position?
Who is your least favorite person in this room?
What do you hate about_______? (someone in the room)
Would you participate in a threesome?

Remember we were college students, back in the day, everything was sexual in nature, and these were daring, bold questions to be asked and answered. The dares were usually extreme and never tasteful. Sometimes, one of the participants would take mercy on you and give you an easy question or dare. Sometimes, not most of the time.

Some of the random dares were:

Knock on the dorm room next door and moon the students in there.
Run down the hallway butt naked.
French kiss the person next to you.
Tell your secret crush that you like him or her.
Take two shots of liquor.

It's funny because I recall telling the truth the majority (98%) of the time. I rarely chose the dares. Me, quiet Electa, revealing her truths to a room full of strangers, male and female. Empowering. Friends would bring friends and you'd end up with a room full of people who didn't really know one another. Maybe you nodded or said hello in class or you saw each other at frat parties or from a distance across the yard. Maybe a basketball game. And now, suddenly you know their most intimate thoughts and secrets. It made you see that person in an entirely new light. Eye-opening.

I loved playing Truth or Dare and many late Saturday nights or early Sunday mornings would find me participating. . . and having the time of my life. Those were the days. When I look back on those years, I see myself laughing, unafraid, bold and free. Always laughing. Dancing like no one was watching. I had so many dreams yet to be fulfilled. There was magic in the air. The sky was the limit. To be young, single and the world as your canvas. . .

Most people in my inner circle would most likely describe me as very private. Not simply private, but very private, yet when I blog I reveal a side of myself, my truths, my reality, to the world. As seen through my eyes and my eyes only. I realized by playing Truth or Dare or via blogging, it allows me to place my truths on the table to be dissected, scrutinized, questioned and absorbed. And in the process I am free.

It's not about the reader; it's all about me and allowing my thoughts to be read, that gives them power.

In revealing your truths, you are liberated. You are stripped down to who you are as a person. You are vulnerable. There are so many fakers in this world we live in and most people rarely allow the true, real side of ourselves to be peeled back like an onion, revealing many layers, for all to view. Sometimes the truth is ugly. Sometimes it is painful. Sometimes it holds scars. Deep scars. But. . . on the flip side there is beauty as well. So much beauty. Good or bad, in the end, they are yours alone.

That is what blogging does and that is what Truth or Dare did for me and in the process I see myself for who I really and truly am. I've always said writing is my therapy. And I've always wanted to look in the mirror and know who and what was peering back.

Looking back, I didn't want to participate in outlandish behavior, so I rarely chose Dare. However, I had my moments when I reluctantly did. There were some truths that I wasn't ready to reveal to the world, wasn't ready to share. There were some that I hadn't worked through myself and chose to keep carefully hidden behind closed door until they were ready to be revealed. Just like in blogging, there are some topics I'm not ready or able to explore yet.

When you break it all down, everyone is a product of his or her truths. Our very own personal truths determine who we are as a person. Our truths determine what type of life we lead, how successful we are or not. Our truths are the very fabric or fiber of our being.

We are who we believe we are.

Hate Him or Love Him. . . you still have to admit. . .

Terrell Owens is a lot of things -- narcissist, team cancer, fan of front-yard topless sit-ups during press conferences -- but you can never accuse him of not being fine.

Everybody who knows me KNOWS that I have been in full blown lust with Terrell Owens, AKA, T.O. since the first moment I saw his commercial advertising his not-so-popular reality show, The T.O. Show. Mind you, I'm not a sports fanatic or could even be described as an average sport's fan (sports is not my cup of tea). I had only heard of T.O. from listening to my husband speak of him and from random sport's reports; I knew T.O. had a tendency to run his mouth, alot. Translation: Terrell garnered a reputation as being arrogant, uncontrollable, not a team player and a loose cannon. When he opened his mouth to speak, there wasn't any telling what would come out and that made a lot of people nervous, I suppose.

All of that means absolutely nothing to me. I simply appreciate a fine, chocolate brother. . . and T.O. is definitely fine with a capital F. And oh, by the way, yes I did state that I am married. However, being married doesn't mean that a person is blind, deaf and dumb. I still have eyes.

Anyone who can look at T.O.'s photo and not readily admit his body is a piece of art, all by itself, is blind. I now understand and appreciate why artist will sculpture and paint canvases of people in the nude. The human body holds such beauty and strength.

However, I digress. The point of my tale is that after declaring my lust for T.O.(which in and of itself, makes me a cougar, I guess) and admitting my guilty pleasure is to watch his reality show every Monday night like clockwork, I didn't get a lot of love from my sistahs. Nope, I wasn't feeling the love, ladies.

I received responses and questions such as: I can't believe you are watching that show. How can you watch that show knowing his preference for non-African American women? Oh, I can't stomach his show and his taste in women. I can't stand, T.O. He's a joke. And the list goes on. . . I began to feel like I was betraying my sisterhood if I watched the show. However, lust beat out sisterhood. LOL.

I'm not going to lie; I admit I was a bit turned off as well when I discovered his preference appeared to be non African-American women (mainly white and exotic looking chicks). I definitely do not consider myself prejudice or racist in any form or fashion, however, I also do not condone when one person decides to date exclusively outside their own race. It's one thing to fall in love with someone outside your race, but it's entirely different to actively seek them out, exclusively. My mind can't logically wrap around that mindset. I seriously question how can you hate what you come from? I can't understand that rationale because even if you were hurt in the past, one bad apple doesn't make the entire batch rotten.

The amateur psychologist in me didn't miss the fact that during an episode of his reality show, T.O. spoke to a group of high school football players. In fact, they were from his former high school, a small town in Alabama. T.O. sadly spoke of not having a great high school experience.

1. He was only an average football player; never revealed an inkling of the beast he is on the field now.
2. He was raised by his grandmother (whom he loves dearly). Still, it's hard for a young person, especially a boy, to be raised by an older adult.
3. He was called names such as darkie, blackie, ugly, etc. This wasn't great for his self-esteem.
4. Girls were not attracted to him, at all.

So. . . now that he is successful, he's not attracted to women who didn't want him. Black women represent the rejection and hurt he suffered in high school, i.e. Wesley Snipes.

Just my take on things. . .

Bottom line: T.O. can date whomever he wants to (that's his prerogative); it's his life and he's rich, successful and powerful. And as an added bonus, he has a gorgeous smile and dimples. . . dangerous combination. T.O. can do whatever the hell he wants to. If the sistahs don't make him happy and he's not attracted to us, then so be it. However, that still doesn't take away for the fact that the man's body is a work of art!

T.O. is fine. . .and there is nothing sexier than a fine, chocolate, southern brother.

Amen. Amen.