Making a Difference

"Congratulations on your Black Expressions Feature!"

Have you ever heard the expression that the smallest gesture can make the biggest impression? It is definitely true. You never know what a smile or simple gesture will do for a person. It could make all the difference in their world.

Currently, I'm going through my manic-depressive state (I'm just kidding people; I'm not really a manic-depressive person. I do not want to get any rumors started. No, Pilar from Diary of a Stalker isn't based on me):) My self-imposed label stems from a private joke my friends and I share. And I certainly understand the serious nature of the disease and do not mean to make light of it in any shape, form or fashion. However, I tend to have periods of great moods and then suddenly, I become "Miss Moody, Leave Me the Hell Alone." Lately, I haven't been functioning at my best from a professional standpoint.

Ask any author, we all have our extreme highs and low lows. We pray that the highs outweigh the lows. In my case, the lows have lasted a little longer lately. For those of you who follow me, you know that I have shed some tears, vented about "woe with me, poor me". . . how I'm not at the level I'd like to be. . . how I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired of the politics and changes of this industry. . . how I'm burnt out with the constant hustle of marketing and promoting. . . how I'm fed up with people who present themselves as your friend, but who really aren't. . . how you have to always keep your name in the forefront. . . how you always have to wear a thick skin. . . I vent about the cliques, the constant struggles and the pretentiousness. I vent about the store closings. . . I vent, vent, vent.

Then I take to my bed and simply sleep my troubles away. That's how I deal with stress. Covers over my head and blessed sleep. I have a straight out fabulous pity party and invite anyone and everyone to attend. You are courtesy invited to my "Life Sucks and Then We Die Party." Come as you are because no one really cares or gives a fuck.

I'm usually positive and upbeat, I thrive on that (I'm the affirmations queen), but sometimes life brings me the blues like anyone else. Reality is: Sometimes you simply can't make lemonade out of lemons. Sometimes if it smells like bs, looks like bs, then guess what, it is probably bs. Eventually I pray about the situation, count my many blessings, try not to sweat the small stuff which seems large gigantic stuff at that time, pick myself up, dust off my wounded ego and move on. After all, life doesn't stop for my woes. And who am I kidding? I couldn't and wouldn't give up writing any more than I could give up breathing.After all, writing is my connection and lifeline to the world. I don't want to lose that and be placed on life support. Writing makes up some of the best parts of who I am. And the majority of the time, I like, hell I love, who that person is.

But, I digress. . .

In the midst of my pity party, in the eye of the storm, imagine my surprise and delight when I received a simple text from an "A" list, New York Times bestselling, fierce author congratulating me on the accomplishment of the Black Expressions feature. I will not mention any names, but I thought that was such a grand, classy gesture. The author did not have to take the time, energy or a minute out of her day to send me that text. Just the fact that she did---took a moment out of her busy schedule (I know for a fact she was trying to meet a book deadline), made all the difference in the world. It was even more special because I personally admire her talent, success and beauty, both outside and within. I've followed her career from day one and marvel at her successes and humbleness.

Her simple gesture placed a smile on my face for the remainder of the day and she probably doesn't even realize it. But that's what it's all about, touching lives and not expecting anything in return. However, as are the laws of the universe, when you give unselfishly, eventually you do receive.

And just like that. . . that simple gesture successfully lifted me out of my funk and inspired me to keep on keeping on. People are taking notice of my hard work, dedication and passion for what I do. That is the one thing that is in my control. . . to keep the fire that burns deep within, alive. . . one word at a time.

"To often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word. . . when I awake I know I have one more day to make a difference in someone's life." ---author unknown



Living a Purposeful LIfe

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. --- Marianne Williamson

The above is one of my favorite quotes; it's so powerful and empowering and uplifting. Yesterday, I finished an "untitled" manuscript that delves into how precious and short life truly is. It follows a group of friends who are reunited at a tragic moment in each of their lives.

Yes, life is short and precious but we can all make a difference before we pass on to the next state of being. I talk about making a difference all the time and recently I sat down and reevaluated my definition or concept of what I really mean. When I first started writing on a professional level, I used to state that I wrote for entertainment purposes only. That is true. . . partly. However, on another level, I realized I have been given a gift and I can't afford to write just for entertainment. There has to be a deeper purpose.

You say, "But your books aren't literary. They are spicy and fun and drama-filled and relationship based."

True. They are.

But. . . they all carry underlying messages, life lessons that readers can relate to because they or someone they know have experienced them. I used to think making a difference meant making it in a huge, massive way. I thought it meant having an impact on millions of people. Then one day it dawned on me, my books and blogs are read by thousands, not millions (yet), but it really doesn't matter because if I've touched somebody, anybody, then my purpose has been served.

I realize God has bestowed favor upon me for just this reason. I receive emails, sometimes letters, all the time about how my books have made a difference in someones life. . . even if it was to take them away from their own problems for 200+ pages. It's fulfilling to know I've touched someone, connected with a stranger at some level through my words. Words are powerful! The emails are my blessings, my confirmations that I'm doing what God's favor has chosen for me to do.

Sometimes, not always, it's not about the quantity, but the quality. Touching one, two, three here, four or five over there, that's where the magic comes into play. I've learned regardless of what advertisers and the media wants us to believe, it doesn't take much to make most people happy. We all want the same things. We want to feel loved, protected, happy and understood by another being. We want to connect.

Whether it's a smile, a hug, a few kind words, we all have the power to make a difference in the lives of others. I think back to all the times I've felt alone and abandoned, felt like no one understood me---that's when someone came along and said just the right words to make it all better. It may have been, "Good job." "Keep doing what you're doing." "Keep it moving, sista." "You inspire me." "I love your positive energy."

It didn't matter.

However, those words lit a fire underneath me. It gave me the motivation and desire to continue on because I was making a difference, maybe not in the big way I imagined in all my perfect dreams, but in my own way.

Life takes us down many dirt roads, side alleys and avenues before we reach our final destination. Life is short, life is precious, make a difference so that your living will not be in vain. If we realized how much power we truly have, it would be mind boggling. Don't diminish your power.