Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Talk To Me

Alone in a room, it's just me and You
I feel so lost 'cause I don't know what to do
Now what if I choose the wrong thing to do
I'm so afraid, afraid of disappointing You

There have been numerous times in my life when I have had moments of despair and self-doubt. Even when in my heart, my soul, my very being, I knew the answer. We all do. Deep down, when we are silent, the answers are there. . . if only we will be still and listen to our inner voice.

That inner voice is God. God is always with us. He wants us to succeed, to reach our destiny.

So I need to talk to You and ask You for Your guidance
Especially today when my life is so cloudy
Guide me until I'm sure
I open up my heart, oh, yeah

There have been so many times in my life when, like now, I feel compelled to write. Write because the overwhelming emotions and feelings that are leaping and raging within can only be placed on paper, captured for eternity, that one moment in time. . . to read and feel over and again during the quiet, endearing moments of life. Moments like this come far and few, when you want to reach back and remember, "Oh yeah, that's how I felt."

I wouldn't describe myself as religious, but more as a spirtual person. I know God is real; I feel Him all around me. Each and every day. He's been with me through some of the most difficult moments of my life; that's why I'm still here to write about it. He carried me through when I couldn't walk through it.

My hopes and dreams are fading fast
I'm all burned out and I don't think my strengths gonna last
So I'm crying out, crying out to You
Lord, I know that You're the only one who is able to pull me through

God has been by my side for my joys and triumphs as well. He has celebrated my successes and knew they would happen because they were all written in my divine plan. I simply had to believe I could do great things because I am created in His image.

He has heard me call out his name and He has answered my call, time and time again. Sometimes I felt as if I didn't deserve his divine grace. . . but he still gently gathered me snugly in his arms and soothed my soul. Told me everything was going to be okay and you know what, it was.

So show me how to do things Your way
Don't let me make the same mistakes over and over again
Your will be done and I'll be the one to make sure that it's carried out
And in me, I don't want any doubt, that's why

There have been numerous times when I've been confused and I've prayed and asked Him to provide guidance. Send me a sign, send me a message, send me someone. . . something to show me, I'm like that; I always have to be shown. He didn't fret, didn't blink.

All I need to do is just hear a single word from You
I open, I open, open up my heart
Just one word could make a difference in what I do
Lord, guide me until I'm sure

Well, He did it again. In another moment of self-doubt, I asked for guidance and He delivered. Sometimes the very thing I know without a shadow of a doubt, is the one thing I fight, subconsciously, against. I say out loud negative thoughts that enter my mind: "Why me? Why aren't things happening faster for me? Why do I want the one thing that brings me the most frustration? Why do I let people bring me down?"

And He always eagerly responds with wisdom: "Why not you? This is your calling, your gift; use it wisely and don't take it for granted. You have the ability to reach thousands and thousands of people with your words; you have the ability to make a difference with your stories because no matter the format, they touch people. . . because they relate to the realness and vulnerability your characters reveal. Don't let the naysayers and the dream dashers allow you to lose your vision and divine destiny.

"Things are happening just the way they are suppose to happen. Don't forget, things happen in my time, not yours. You are exactly where you are supposed to be and no one, no one, can take that from you. What's meant for you, is meant for you. Be patient, my child. Patience is a virtue.

"You want the one thing that brings you frustration because that one thing speaks to you the loudest, speaks to you from a place within; a space that no one else can touch or see or hear or smell but you. Remember that. It's special; it's your magic. That's why even though you butt heads; you could never turn away from it because it defines you in as much as you bring it alive and place dept to it. Passions run deep. . and strong. . . and real. Embrace it and it'll love you back ten-fold."

I always pray for God to speak to me. . . to show me. . . to silence my struggles. You see, I've been nervous, pondering my next move and uncertain of the future, but He knows. . .He knows the beginning, middle and end. For it was spoken even before I was born.

I'm so happy that good news was sent my way, at the precise moment that I needed to hear it. Always right on time. . . with a warm spirit as the deliverer.

God is good! All the time!

You're the lover of my soul
Captain of my sea
I need a word from You
That's why I open up my heart

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