Speaking from Beyond the Grave

I am seriously thinking about starting a personal journal for each of my children, Brandon and Briana, for when I am gone.

No, I don't have any immediate plans to pass away anytime soon. God willing, I hope to live a long, healthy and productive life. However, I know from experience that the best-laid plans don't always pan out the way we would like them to.

My plans are to leave behind a journal so that my children can always have a piece of me with them. I hope that doesn't sound too morbid. I realize I will always, hopefully, be in their hearts and memories, but wouldn't it be cool to physically have a record/journal of my thoughts, hopes, fears, joys, triumphs, failures, loves, dreams and pains? They may not appreciate it now, but when they become adults, I think they will.

This is something I'd like to do because I recognize how I would love to have the opportunity to sit down and have one last conversation with my mother. Yet, I guess I do, in my very vivid dreams. I have always had so many questions that I was never able to ask.

Believe me, I don't usually sit around pondering my own immortality any more than other people, but occasionally I think about how life will be for my family when I have moved on to the next level.

I guess I have always had a slight fascination with death and dying. Who else would have had a Death and Dying class at 8:00 a.m., in the morning, winter quarter when I attended college? It was actually a great class and I took a lot from it. I wish I still had those old journal entries we had to write each and every day.

I've always believed in alternative ways of thinking and I've never allowed myself into thinking only "this" or "that" is the absolute right or wrong way. I've always questioned everything and thought of the what ifs, ands, buts and could ofs for everything in my life.

So. . . that's it. I've released it to the universe. It's a done deal as I have now committed to the project. Since I believe in seasons and cycles in life, I think I'll start this process in January 2010.