I am Afraid
“When I dare to be powerful---to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” –Audre Lorde
I admit it---I am afraid some of the time. Even though I am confident and secure in my abilities, gifts and destiny most of the time---being afraid will creep up now and then and play mind games with my psyche.
What am I afraid of?
I am afraid of not fulfilling my destiny. I am afraid of not becoming the best person I can be. I am afraid of falling short of my goals. I am afraid of not leaving a legacy for my children. I am afraid of not being good enough in their eyes, whoever “they” are.
I am afraid of not making a difference during my lifetime. I am afraid of just being average. I am afraid of second place. I am afraid of not having the strength to keep keeping on. I am afraid the universe will not recognize the passion, energy, drive and love I bring forth as if my life depends upon it.
I am afraid.
I am not afraid to admit these facts because I am human and imperfect just like anybody else. I have never been afraid to voice my feelings and emotions that I wear on my sleeve like a badge of honor. Oh yes, I have doubts and fears that shadow my path in the midst of my triumphs; attempting to shatter my dreams and discourage my footsteps. I recognize this for all it is and for all I will not let it become.
Yes, I am afraid.
I am afraid and scared some of the time, but I am also faithful in my knowledge that God didn’t bring me this far to forsake me. Why would he? His power can make the impossible, possible. Open doors that are closed. Make a stranger a powerful ally.
I am afraid some of the time, but most of the time, I am secure in my blessings and in the knowledge that it may not happen when I want it o happen, but it WILL happen. And that makes it less and less important whether I am afraid some of the time as long as I continue my walk to greatness.
Most of the time I am powerful.