Why Do I Torture Myself?

I want to share this with you guys; I found it while surfing the net (and no, I don’t have anything else to do with my time. LOL) It is a piece I wrote circa 2001, 10 years ago when I was still a self-published author (well, actually I was POD, not even self-published yet). My vision still remains the same, which is very validating for me.

Why Do I Torture Myself?

Why do I torture myself? That's a question I've asked myself dozens of times over the last few months. I still haven't come up with a rational, logical answer; only an answer that I feel from the heart. You see, I'm a writer. That's a term, that until recently, I felt uncomfortable calling myself, but it's starting to feel more and more like a warm, cozy blanket on a cold, rainy day. The term writer embraces me and defines me as no other word has in the past.

I love to write; always have, always will. Writing takes me on journeys that I've never imagined before. Writing clears up all the clutter from everyday living. It's an amazing, powerful feeling to start with a word, then a sentence, and then to eventually create these wonderful, intriguing, fictitious characters that come to life on a piece of paper right before my eyes. I never know where I'm taking them or where there are taking me. These characters are figments of my imagination that readers embrace, be it to love them or hate them, as their own. Amazing.

I have an intimate love affair with the feel of crisp paper, colorful pens and a sturdy keyboard against my fingertips. I'm in heaven! I love the sound the keyboard makes as I type out my feelings and thoughts, word by word, page by page. Yeah, the power of words is awesome. Words can form opinions, change your attitude, make you happy, make you laugh when you want to cry. . . change your entire life.

I discovered this power at a very early age and it's never left me. I still remember the first time I read Terry McMillan's Disappearing Acts; I savored every page with a smile on my face and suffered heartfelt sadness as it ended. Yes, I appreciate and embrace the power of the written word. So, why do I torture myself? I do it because every time I think this self-publishing journey is too hard, or too competitive, or too expensive, or too this or too that. . . a little voice in the back of my head whispers for me to keep on keeping on. I have this strong, burning desire to be heard. I have stories to tell. It's that simple. That's my purpose in life.

No, I admit, my stories are not great pieces of literary work, I'll leave that to Toni Morrison, and I'm not trying to write the All American novel, but I have great stories to tell and fascinating stories to be heard. My wish is that I'm entertaining avid readers and maybe letting them take a look at themselves, a sister, a brother, an aunt. They can relate. They feel something if only for 200 pages. I'm taking them on a mini-vacation. And maybe, just maybe, by the time they have read the last page. . . they will take something positive away as well.

Yes, I'm a writer! I can scream that with pride and confidence because God has given me a measure of talent that I should utilize. Why do I torment myself? Because I have no choice when my inner voice is pushing me to follow my dream and to walk out on faith. With hard work, determination and drive, my voice can be heard as well. I have stories to tell.

Electa Rome Parks
Author of The Ties That Bind


Note: Electa Rome Parks published "The Ties That Bind" in May, 2001. It can be purchased through Bookamillion.com, Xlibris.com bookstore and Amazon.com. Email address: novelideal@aol.com