Thankful to be counted amongst the living!

I am a worry-wart.

I always have been and probably will remain so until the day I take my final breath. It is what it is. Ironically, I don't worry that I am a worrywart. Possessing that title has its rich rewards. For one, I'm always on my "A" game---making sure I cross all my t's and dot all my i's. There is always a Plan B in place, just in case Plan A doesn't work out.

So. . . the spill-off or residue from being a worrywart is that I'm super organized and highly efficient in most all I do. I try to retain control in all I do, as much to the degree that is possible. You guys read between the lines. Okay, I admit it, I can be picky, a control freak and a perfectionist to a fault.

Over the quickly fleeing years that pass by in the blink of an eye, as my spiritual level and maturity has grown, I have come to realize that I should always come with my "A" game, but also realize that with God all around me---guiding, leading, directing and instructing my footsteps---I can eagerly give up my title, confident in the knowledge that I'll be alright. In fact, I'll be better than alright, I will be safe, sound, happy and secure with my place in this world. He always makes a way, even during our darkest moments. When you think you can't take another step, he'll do one better and carry you.

As we move towards holidays, I pause to reflect on all the wonderful family and friends that I have in my life. I have a loving husband, children that I am very proud of, people who love and care for me with a passion, just as I am. They accept me with faults, imperfections and even when I'm in worrywart mode. Plus, I'm living my dream each and every day. I'm creating the reality of my dreams and that in itself is magic. Magic surrounds me and I bask in its glory. I have my health and my strength and my sanity. What more could I possibly ask for or need in my life?

No, my life hasn't been without struggle and hardship. I've lost so many people over the years to death in my immediate family, but I'm still standing, solid as a live oak; I've never had anything simply handed to me on a platter, I've worked hard for everything I've achieved and appreciated it even more; I've had moments of doubt and uncertainty only to be given crystal-clear clarity; I've looked at the "other side" and thought the grass was greener only to discover it wasn't, it wasn't even green, more of an imitation shade; I've asked the question, many times, "why me, Lord?" only to receive the answer, "Why not you, my child?"

In the past, I've been hurt by men because I love deeply and they didn't appreciate my true worth; hell, I've been hurt by my family, blood; even hurt by my so called best friends forever, but I still rise; I've been down, down, down, but I've also been up, so high I could almost reach the sky; I've been disillusioned to the point of despair, but I've also been inspired by the goodness of people who care; I've cried buckets of tears, but I've also rejoiced in splendor at the beauty of the human spirit.

The green-eyed monster of jealousy has visited me a few times and I've fought him off tooth and sword because I learned a long time ago to truly be happy for other's good fortune; God has your back and your day is coming. What's meant for you is truly meant for you and no one, no thing, no situation can take that away from you. I've had my moments when I took to my bed, in a state of depression, sleep as my refuge, but I always got back up stronger and resilient with a fire burning deep within my soul. I've been to the mountaintop and it is a beautiful thing, but I've also been in the valley a day short and a dollar late.

All this to say: Life can be hard. Life is full of strive and struggle. But you know what? I'm so thankful! Thankful to be counted amongst the living. I'm thankful! Thankful to have a voice, thankful to make a difference, thankful to have a platform to speak, thankful to know all I have to do is see it and believe it for it to happen.

I'm so thankful that my reality doesn't have to be my destiny. I'm so thankful that I have a fire that burns deep within. I'm so thankful that all I have to do is listen and he will speak. I'm so thankful that all I have to do is ask and then I will receive. I'm thankful God moves through me which enables me to move people.

I AM SO VERY THANKFUL! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!